After I read my tribute at Thai's memorial service, I had many people say they couldn't believe that I could get up there in front of the 750 people who attended and do that. I didn't see how I couldn't. I put on what Thai would have called a "kick ass" dress and did my best to honor the deep love we shared for 22 years. There are so many facets to a relationship that long and that significant, but I kept going back in my mind to that magical time when you realize you may have found "the one" with all its attendant joys and uncertainties. So that's what I wrote about:
You all know Thai as a loving father, an outstanding physician, a dedicated partner, a faithful friend and a brilliant mind. To me, he was all that, but also something unique: my husband, my co-parent, my best friend, and most of all the love of my life. I can never capture everything he meant to me, but in this time, when he is always in my thoughts, I often find myself reaching back in time to remember the very beginning of the life journey that Thai and I shared when I was so crazy in love that just the thought of him or the mention of his name turned my stomach into a mass of twisting butterflies and I couldn’t eat. Bizarrely, my body had a similar reaction during the whole unbearable ordeal of losing Thai: I couldn’t eat and my stomach was a mess.
Now the first reaction was from great joy; the second from great sadness and grief, but the physical manifestation was surprisingly similar. Somehow it brought me back, way back, 22 years ago to the very beginning of our journey together. The first time I ever saw Thai is crystallized like a diamond in my mind. It was a beautiful day and he was sitting in the hot California sun in the UCLA law school courtyard with his legs sort of crossed and half up on the table. I’m sure any of you who have been a meeting with him know exactly what I’m talking about. We had a mutual friend and she had told me she thought we’d be perfect together. Now whether that was because she truly thought we were soul mates or merely because we were both Birkenstock wearing hippies from Berkeley, I don’t know. But the moment I saw him sitting there, it was like a bolt of energy went through me. He looked up at me with those brilliant green eyes, a slight razor stubble and gave me a lazy smile. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the corresponding stubble on his legs, not being a biker, but I was a goner nevertheless.
Two days later I was taking the Santa Monica bus home when Thai unexpectedly got on. I can still see him walking towards me with his floppy brown hair, his brilliant smile and those killer green eyes. It had been his birthday and someone had given him some Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. It will surprise no one to know that by the end of the ride I knew all about the intricacies of cultivating this rare and expensive type of coffee. As he got off at his stop, he casually invited me over for a cup sometime. He later told me, he never thought I’d actually come. That was Friday. On Saturday, there I was, knock knock on his door. He wasn’t there and his roommate told me he had gone to climb Mt. Whitney with some friends and would be back on Sunday. Gorgeous, charming AND adventurous? Sunday I was back, knock knock, and this time he was there.
The rest, as they say, is history. I never (and kids this was before cell phones let you know where everyone was 24/7) ran into him just by accident on the bus even though we took the same bus for the following three years, so fate smiled on us that time. Now if you’ve ever heard this story from Thai, he tells it this way: "Kat picked me up on the bus and then just kept pursuing me relentlessly . . . " It was definitely unusual for me because I’m not an extrovert like Thai, but even in the beginning he had a way of pushing me outside my comfort zone. Whether we were taking a month long back pack trip through civil war torn Guatemela, taking the kids cave diving in Mexico, or he was convincing me to buy a boat sight unseen off e-bay, life with Thai was always an adventure.
It was also a life full of an enveloping love. When we started dating, I immediately became aware of how intensely and openly Thai loved his family. “Love you Jess, Love you Dad, Love you mom” ended every phone call. I knew right away that being the recipient of that kind of love would be a powerful and unforgettable experience. For the past 22 years it has been. Now tragically and for reasons that are far beyond my ability to make sense of the world, my sons and I have lost the physical presence of that love. But we will never ever lose the experience of being blessed by the strength of Thai’s love. Thai, I miss you so much, but the boys and I are strong and we will make you proud of us. We love you and you will live in our hearts forever.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Remembrances from a friend and neighbor
This post by Thai's friend Bob Carden is in the spirit of the Monty Python post put up by Dink. Thai, wherever his spirit resides, was laughing the hardest. But it was so good for all of us to have those laughs during such a sad time. EMC--what a legacy! Someone said to me that Bob Carden is sometimes called the mayor of Edgemoor (our neighborhood), but Thai was its heart. Beautiful thought that stuck with me, but obviously there are so many wonderful hearts in our neighborhood (but don't worry, Bob, just one mayor!). Here it is.
As most of you know Thai’s intellectual curiosity, extended far beyond medicine. He loved politics, philosophy economics. Over the years he and I had a number of spirited debates. He was a bit of a righty, I go left. And our debates were increasingly animated, depending on how many “refreshments” we had that evening.
Several years ago, on a particularly “refreshing” evening, Thai and I were going at it. We discussed de’Tocqueville’s Democracy in America, argued the merits of Keynesian economics in propping up the economy, and finally, perhaps most critically, postulated on which country club members had the most surgical enhancements ….I think Tom Craver and Greg Doll joined the discussion about then, whenever the subject goes to that level you can usually count on Craver and Doll being close by
Anyway, at that moment Thai had an epiphany. He recognized that the collective shallowness of many of his Edgemoor friends demanded a forum where they could discuss these and other pressing questions. And as Greg told him, the woman have the PTA, bookclub, but what of the neglected, lonely Edgemoor man who spoke for us----I’ll tell you who: Thai Mcgreivy.
Within two days Thai had put together a large email database and selected a selection of bars where we’d meet. Thus EMC, the Edgemoor Men’s Club was born
Now cynics out there might say EMC was just an excuse for a bunch of slightly pathetic middle aged men to go to repair to the neighborhood tavern, have a couple of beers, watch sports, tell lies. And you know what, you’d be right.
But it was also more than that, because we had Thai running the show. It was not an ordained event until Thai showed up. Once he did it was like 6 degrees of Thai McGreivy. Thai wanted to make sure everyone was getting along, the circle was expanding.
His was never a simple introduction, Thai knew something about you, your kids, to provoke a conversation. I refer to Thai as the charismatic catalyst. Causing things to happen, having a blast doing it. His presence was large and central. And always met you with the comment, “All is well?” Not hello, or how are you but “All is well?” And he always had that open hand to greet you. When he shook that hand it was open, like him.
Katherine, I know the doctor thing worked out pretty well for Thai, and the rest of us, we’ve been going to him for years for advice. But I think the perfect job for Thai would have been maitre’d at a big restaurant. Can’t you see him doing that, greeting people, holding court. Perfect Thai gig….
Anyway our silly little EMC jaunts will go on, as will our Sunday barbecues at the club and, watching our kids and Thai’s kids swim this summer, at those country clubs. But it’s not the same. It can’t be. You just don’t get over losing someone like Thai—his presence was too large—his star shone too bright. But you do adjust to it—those first couple of days everyone in our neighborhood were walking around like zombies. I saw Carrie Hurd, Chris Gilson, red eyed, speechless. But that’s starting to change, we are adjusting and one reason is the remarkable woman Thai married. Katherine was over at the club Sunday night, composed, engaged, easy going as ever. We’re supposed to be strong for Katherine. It’s the other way around.
Finally, the outpouring here is directly proportionate to how much Thai was liked, loved and admired. Nick, kids you have to understand nobody in the community was looked up to like your father, nobody.
So Thai, all is well. And one more thing buddy. I have the last word. It was Congressional.
As most of you know Thai’s intellectual curiosity, extended far beyond medicine. He loved politics, philosophy economics. Over the years he and I had a number of spirited debates. He was a bit of a righty, I go left. And our debates were increasingly animated, depending on how many “refreshments” we had that evening.
Several years ago, on a particularly “refreshing” evening, Thai and I were going at it. We discussed de’Tocqueville’s Democracy in America, argued the merits of Keynesian economics in propping up the economy, and finally, perhaps most critically, postulated on which country club members had the most surgical enhancements ….I think Tom Craver and Greg Doll joined the discussion about then, whenever the subject goes to that level you can usually count on Craver and Doll being close by
Anyway, at that moment Thai had an epiphany. He recognized that the collective shallowness of many of his Edgemoor friends demanded a forum where they could discuss these and other pressing questions. And as Greg told him, the woman have the PTA, bookclub, but what of the neglected, lonely Edgemoor man who spoke for us----I’ll tell you who: Thai Mcgreivy.
Within two days Thai had put together a large email database and selected a selection of bars where we’d meet. Thus EMC, the Edgemoor Men’s Club was born
Now cynics out there might say EMC was just an excuse for a bunch of slightly pathetic middle aged men to go to repair to the neighborhood tavern, have a couple of beers, watch sports, tell lies. And you know what, you’d be right.
But it was also more than that, because we had Thai running the show. It was not an ordained event until Thai showed up. Once he did it was like 6 degrees of Thai McGreivy. Thai wanted to make sure everyone was getting along, the circle was expanding.
His was never a simple introduction, Thai knew something about you, your kids, to provoke a conversation. I refer to Thai as the charismatic catalyst. Causing things to happen, having a blast doing it. His presence was large and central. And always met you with the comment, “All is well?” Not hello, or how are you but “All is well?” And he always had that open hand to greet you. When he shook that hand it was open, like him.
Katherine, I know the doctor thing worked out pretty well for Thai, and the rest of us, we’ve been going to him for years for advice. But I think the perfect job for Thai would have been maitre’d at a big restaurant. Can’t you see him doing that, greeting people, holding court. Perfect Thai gig….
Anyway our silly little EMC jaunts will go on, as will our Sunday barbecues at the club and, watching our kids and Thai’s kids swim this summer, at those country clubs. But it’s not the same. It can’t be. You just don’t get over losing someone like Thai—his presence was too large—his star shone too bright. But you do adjust to it—those first couple of days everyone in our neighborhood were walking around like zombies. I saw Carrie Hurd, Chris Gilson, red eyed, speechless. But that’s starting to change, we are adjusting and one reason is the remarkable woman Thai married. Katherine was over at the club Sunday night, composed, engaged, easy going as ever. We’re supposed to be strong for Katherine. It’s the other way around.
Finally, the outpouring here is directly proportionate to how much Thai was liked, loved and admired. Nick, kids you have to understand nobody in the community was looked up to like your father, nobody.
So Thai, all is well. And one more thing buddy. I have the last word. It was Congressional.
Videos from Thai's memorial
The videos posted at the following site were shown at Thai's memorial service and lovingly put together by Thai's partner and friend Mike Cetta with the help of his wife Denise. They did an incredible job and I am so grateful. http://www.thecettas.com/Thai/Welcome.html
Katherine
Katherine
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Memories of a Teenage Thai
Thanks for setting up this site. I attended Thai's memorial service yesterday. It was just a beautiful ceremony. Very emotional, yet a wonderful celebration of the life of a very special man. So much planning went into it by so many people (I had nothing to do with it. Just showed up 10 minutes before the event). It was attended by what seemed to be hundreds of people. The entire Bethesda Theater was filled. The community that he and his family lived in really stepped up to support the family.
As one of his childhood friends, I was asked to say a few words. Katherine asked me to post my speech to this site. I will do so in the next comment. As background, I met Thai at boarding school 29 years ago. We also worked at the same job, the summer after our Freshman year in college, working for CalPIRG in Los Angeles. There was a great group of idealistic kids working to pass the bottle bill in California.
Each of us went knocking on the doors of thousands of strangers' homes that summer asking for money (political donations, for which we got paid a commission) and letters in support of the bill. Probably got turned down 90%+ of the time. Sometimes doors slammed in our faces or we were threatened with guns or dogs. But there were also wonderful people who invited us in out of the hot sun for a cup of ice tea or milk & cookies while they were getting out their checkbooks. Thai was persistent. Kept going and going. That's the way he was his whole life. We went out just about every night that summer and did trips to Joshua Tree and other camping areas in SoCal. It was a summer to remember.
My last dinner with Thai (and Katherine) was on May 4, less than a month before his heart attack. My family was in the DC area for my wife's 25th high school reunion so it was just a fluke that we got to see each other. It's surreal that he's gone. He will be missed by so many people. Most of all, by his family.
I'd like to start by reading something I wrote to Thai on his Facebook Wall.
"Goodbye my friend. We cried for you but we will try to be strong. I still have this vivid image of you dancing...gettin' down low to Rock Lobster almost 30 years ago at Will Hall in Andover. Dark background. Strobe lights flashing. You were this cool dude from SoCal. I also have this mental image of you with a smile on your face, wind blowing through your hair...taking your shiny new boat out for a spin. You were so proud of your latest toy; bought on eBay, sight unseen. After the last dinner we had together...I remember thinking that we would have so many more chances to catch up and reminisce...until we were old farts. Not to be. But I will always have the memories. Thanks for being such a good friend and for always being your unique self."
I just love that Rock Lobster image of Thai. He was Nick’s age, about to turn 15 during our first Fall at Andover.
It's funny how the mind works. Of all the parties, dances and songs in my life, I remember so clearly the one with Thai.
Thai always made an impression because he was unique.
There was a saying that some of his friends used at Andover. He would do something - sometimes silly, sometimes a bit shocking - and the story would get told - and we would all just say "that is so Thai."
It was fun to hang out with him because he was up for anything; always ready for a new adventure.
Thai was never too old or too macho to cry, to hug or to kiss. He had that inner strength to allow himself be vulnerable. He was willing to put himself out there and willing to open up the possibility of rejection, pain or failure.
He was charming, especially to older people and to all parents. He was always social. But it was only recently that I learned about his blogging and online social activities.
One of his blogging buddies wrote that he could be infuriating. But his sincerity and charm were obvious, even to those who had never met him face to face.
Sometimes, it felt as though we never agreed on anything because he was a skeptic. He didn't blindly accept other people's ideas. He had his own opinions and he was willing to defend his position to the end.
Thai may have been skeptical, but he was no cynic. He believed in ideas - often very passionately, he believed in himself and he believed in people. He may not have been religious, but he was a man of faith.
Thai had faith most of all in the people he loved. Growing up, he was so close to his parents and to his brother Jesse that it definitely made an impression on me.
I also remember visiting Thai in LA, 20 years ago, not long after he met Katherine. I knew he was a goner. She was quite the catch and he knew it.
So I was not surprised to see them get married; what was surprising, however, were the four boys and that crazy remodeling project!
Through life's ups and downs, Thai's devotion to Katherine and the life they were building together grew even stronger.
During our last dinner together, he was looking forward to their next phase of parenthood - the teenage years. My wife observed that he seemed fascinated by the intellectual challenge of it.
He loved his boys. He loved how unique they were and loved talking about each of them. His eyes lit up that night talking his boys; we talked for hours.
Over this past week, I've been trying to make some sense of what’s happened and wondered what he might have wanted me say to his beloved boys.
I think that Thai might say to Nick, Luke & Kyle, and James - there are many things in life that are beyond your control but what will define you are the choices that you make.
Your father chose to be adventurous;
he chose to be curious;
he chose to be an independent thinker;
he chose to be passionate and to pursue his passions;
to be vulnerable;
to be honest; and
to be loving and kind.
I know that he had faith in you. If he were alive, he would very much want you to make your own choices; but I hope that as you grow up, you’ll learn to appreciate the choices that he made and the life he led.
I'll end with one last story. During dinner at one point, he blurted out, pointing his finger at me, "you're a Facebook whore!"
Of the 877 so called "friends" I have on Facebook, he is the only person who would say such a thing. That was so Thai!
He was right, of course. He was always honest.
Any of us would be lucky to know just a handful of special people that we can call a true friend.
Thai was such a person.
I will miss him; and I will always remember him.
(e-mail from Ho Nam)
As one of his childhood friends, I was asked to say a few words. Katherine asked me to post my speech to this site. I will do so in the next comment. As background, I met Thai at boarding school 29 years ago. We also worked at the same job, the summer after our Freshman year in college, working for CalPIRG in Los Angeles. There was a great group of idealistic kids working to pass the bottle bill in California.
Each of us went knocking on the doors of thousands of strangers' homes that summer asking for money (political donations, for which we got paid a commission) and letters in support of the bill. Probably got turned down 90%+ of the time. Sometimes doors slammed in our faces or we were threatened with guns or dogs. But there were also wonderful people who invited us in out of the hot sun for a cup of ice tea or milk & cookies while they were getting out their checkbooks. Thai was persistent. Kept going and going. That's the way he was his whole life. We went out just about every night that summer and did trips to Joshua Tree and other camping areas in SoCal. It was a summer to remember.
My last dinner with Thai (and Katherine) was on May 4, less than a month before his heart attack. My family was in the DC area for my wife's 25th high school reunion so it was just a fluke that we got to see each other. It's surreal that he's gone. He will be missed by so many people. Most of all, by his family.
I'd like to start by reading something I wrote to Thai on his Facebook Wall.
"Goodbye my friend. We cried for you but we will try to be strong. I still have this vivid image of you dancing...gettin' down low to Rock Lobster almost 30 years ago at Will Hall in Andover. Dark background. Strobe lights flashing. You were this cool dude from SoCal. I also have this mental image of you with a smile on your face, wind blowing through your hair...taking your shiny new boat out for a spin. You were so proud of your latest toy; bought on eBay, sight unseen. After the last dinner we had together...I remember thinking that we would have so many more chances to catch up and reminisce...until we were old farts. Not to be. But I will always have the memories. Thanks for being such a good friend and for always being your unique self."
I just love that Rock Lobster image of Thai. He was Nick’s age, about to turn 15 during our first Fall at Andover.
It's funny how the mind works. Of all the parties, dances and songs in my life, I remember so clearly the one with Thai.
Thai always made an impression because he was unique.
There was a saying that some of his friends used at Andover. He would do something - sometimes silly, sometimes a bit shocking - and the story would get told - and we would all just say "that is so Thai."
It was fun to hang out with him because he was up for anything; always ready for a new adventure.
Thai was never too old or too macho to cry, to hug or to kiss. He had that inner strength to allow himself be vulnerable. He was willing to put himself out there and willing to open up the possibility of rejection, pain or failure.
He was charming, especially to older people and to all parents. He was always social. But it was only recently that I learned about his blogging and online social activities.
One of his blogging buddies wrote that he could be infuriating. But his sincerity and charm were obvious, even to those who had never met him face to face.
Sometimes, it felt as though we never agreed on anything because he was a skeptic. He didn't blindly accept other people's ideas. He had his own opinions and he was willing to defend his position to the end.
Thai may have been skeptical, but he was no cynic. He believed in ideas - often very passionately, he believed in himself and he believed in people. He may not have been religious, but he was a man of faith.
Thai had faith most of all in the people he loved. Growing up, he was so close to his parents and to his brother Jesse that it definitely made an impression on me.
I also remember visiting Thai in LA, 20 years ago, not long after he met Katherine. I knew he was a goner. She was quite the catch and he knew it.
So I was not surprised to see them get married; what was surprising, however, were the four boys and that crazy remodeling project!
Through life's ups and downs, Thai's devotion to Katherine and the life they were building together grew even stronger.
During our last dinner together, he was looking forward to their next phase of parenthood - the teenage years. My wife observed that he seemed fascinated by the intellectual challenge of it.
He loved his boys. He loved how unique they were and loved talking about each of them. His eyes lit up that night talking his boys; we talked for hours.
Over this past week, I've been trying to make some sense of what’s happened and wondered what he might have wanted me say to his beloved boys.
I think that Thai might say to Nick, Luke & Kyle, and James - there are many things in life that are beyond your control but what will define you are the choices that you make.
Your father chose to be adventurous;
he chose to be curious;
he chose to be an independent thinker;
he chose to be passionate and to pursue his passions;
to be vulnerable;
to be honest; and
to be loving and kind.
I know that he had faith in you. If he were alive, he would very much want you to make your own choices; but I hope that as you grow up, you’ll learn to appreciate the choices that he made and the life he led.
I'll end with one last story. During dinner at one point, he blurted out, pointing his finger at me, "you're a Facebook whore!"
Of the 877 so called "friends" I have on Facebook, he is the only person who would say such a thing. That was so Thai!
He was right, of course. He was always honest.
Any of us would be lucky to know just a handful of special people that we can call a true friend.
Thai was such a person.
I will miss him; and I will always remember him.
(e-mail from Ho Nam)
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Thai Was A Huge Monty Python Fan....
In this sad time we must take care to remain a bit mischievous. As I believe he would've wanted :)
Remembrances From A Neighbor
Katherine,
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I'm sure you're
having your share of heavy conversations so as I see you out and about
I'll try to stick to the small, everyday, shoot the breeze talk. We
really do ache for you and your family but feel kind of powerless to
express it.
From my neighborly vantage, I thought I could share some of my
remembrances and interactions with Thai. Foremost, aside from Thai's
all-around friendly disposition and usual wearing of a smile, a
defining impression he left with me was his immense intellectual
curiosity. I don't pretend to know the whole of Thai, but I had a
small window into his intellectual curiosity through some of my
interactions with him. Thai knew that I had some connection to the
finance industry, so on occasion he'd see me as a sparring partner for
some idea he was exploring or interested in through one of the
economic blogs, sites or books he was studying up on.
At least with me, Thai had this uncanny knack of taking me from
"Hello, how's it going?" to 30 seconds later my finding myself in the
deep end of some conversation with him on the housing and credit
bubble, health care reform, an impending financial crisis, an abstract
theory or simply a recommendation of some non-fiction book he was
reading. As you well know Thai was drawn to these iconoclastic
economic blogs and sites with views on the economy and a possible
financial meltdown that at the time were well outside of the
mainstream of the opinion of economists and financial actors.
Most of my conversations with him on these topics took place two and
even three years ago, mostly before the financial meltdown. He'd come
bounding out of the house looking for J.J. and then get distracted
with an idea that was in his head and see me as a willing participant.
He'd share some of the dialogue he was having or absorbing on many of
these economic blogs. There was a fair amount of gloom and doom, and
prospects for an impending meltdown and why x, y and z factor would
bring this about. While it was just idle chat, I worked in an
industry where actually acting on this would have been useful. I
wouldn't say I was dismissive of the arguments, but I had this false
comfort in what proved also to be a falsehood that somewhere there had
to be some Grown-Up in charge in the financial markets or in
Government who should know more and wasn't about to let any of this
happen. And after one of these conversations, Thai would jokingly
claim that he was stocking up on ammo and canned food in his basement
for Armageddon.
So to give you an idea of where our conversations went they ranged
from financial markets to more esoteric and abstract ideas like Black
Swans and fractals. We got into the topic because we had both read
and liked an author Nassim Taleb who wrote "Black Swans." A Black
Swan is a rare, unexpected yet highly impactful event (good or bad).
Rather than being shaped by the tides of everyday life, history and
our own lives could be dominated by these outlying, and highly
impactful Black Swans. Of this theory, Thai was well aware. He
recommended and lent to me an earlier book by the same author called
"Fooled by Randomness," a book about luck and skill (and the confusing
of the two) and probability and randomness. And both books dealt with
fractals. I liked the book so much it took me 12 months to return it
and I probably read it 4 or 5 times over that span. Some of the
concepts from this book that Thai introduced me to have had a profound
effect in how I now approach my business life.
But Thai was biggest into fractals and could see them everywhere. I
can't really do the explanation justice but a fractal is like a tree
to a branch (or maybe a parent to an offspring) where the subset is a
miniature replica of the whole, not identical but similar. Some
systems are fractal in nature where there is an interconnectedness and
property to them like the weather, financial markets, populations,
natural systems and even human relations whereby the system has a
propensity to be sensitive to the initial conditions and then become
unpredictable over time. And unlike a simple linear row of dominoes
where one precipitating event initiates a, more or less, equal event,
in a fractal system each event amplifies the condition with each
iteration to the point where the entire system becomes unstable and
unpredictable. This is also known as the "butterfly effect," whereby
a butterfly flapping its wings in India can give rise to a hurricane
in some remote area like Florida. Hence, the interconnectedness of
seemingly small random events.
My interactions with Thai centered on this intellectual side, but
here's the subtle transition to the more human side. The financial
meltdown of which he was forewarning actually happened. Thai also
later came to know that my company folded and I was out of work as a
result of these same forces. And then the conversations on this topic
which had been frequent pretty much ceased. Now the truth is I
wouldn't have minded had they continued. But Thai didn't know that.
I think his empathetic side took over and he figured, "Who wants to
hear I told you so?" so he just let it be unsaid.
(E-mail to Katherine from neighbor E.S.)
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I'm sure you're
having your share of heavy conversations so as I see you out and about
I'll try to stick to the small, everyday, shoot the breeze talk. We
really do ache for you and your family but feel kind of powerless to
express it.
From my neighborly vantage, I thought I could share some of my
remembrances and interactions with Thai. Foremost, aside from Thai's
all-around friendly disposition and usual wearing of a smile, a
defining impression he left with me was his immense intellectual
curiosity. I don't pretend to know the whole of Thai, but I had a
small window into his intellectual curiosity through some of my
interactions with him. Thai knew that I had some connection to the
finance industry, so on occasion he'd see me as a sparring partner for
some idea he was exploring or interested in through one of the
economic blogs, sites or books he was studying up on.
At least with me, Thai had this uncanny knack of taking me from
"Hello, how's it going?" to 30 seconds later my finding myself in the
deep end of some conversation with him on the housing and credit
bubble, health care reform, an impending financial crisis, an abstract
theory or simply a recommendation of some non-fiction book he was
reading. As you well know Thai was drawn to these iconoclastic
economic blogs and sites with views on the economy and a possible
financial meltdown that at the time were well outside of the
mainstream of the opinion of economists and financial actors.
Most of my conversations with him on these topics took place two and
even three years ago, mostly before the financial meltdown. He'd come
bounding out of the house looking for J.J. and then get distracted
with an idea that was in his head and see me as a willing participant.
He'd share some of the dialogue he was having or absorbing on many of
these economic blogs. There was a fair amount of gloom and doom, and
prospects for an impending meltdown and why x, y and z factor would
bring this about. While it was just idle chat, I worked in an
industry where actually acting on this would have been useful. I
wouldn't say I was dismissive of the arguments, but I had this false
comfort in what proved also to be a falsehood that somewhere there had
to be some Grown-Up in charge in the financial markets or in
Government who should know more and wasn't about to let any of this
happen. And after one of these conversations, Thai would jokingly
claim that he was stocking up on ammo and canned food in his basement
for Armageddon.
So to give you an idea of where our conversations went they ranged
from financial markets to more esoteric and abstract ideas like Black
Swans and fractals. We got into the topic because we had both read
and liked an author Nassim Taleb who wrote "Black Swans." A Black
Swan is a rare, unexpected yet highly impactful event (good or bad).
Rather than being shaped by the tides of everyday life, history and
our own lives could be dominated by these outlying, and highly
impactful Black Swans. Of this theory, Thai was well aware. He
recommended and lent to me an earlier book by the same author called
"Fooled by Randomness," a book about luck and skill (and the confusing
of the two) and probability and randomness. And both books dealt with
fractals. I liked the book so much it took me 12 months to return it
and I probably read it 4 or 5 times over that span. Some of the
concepts from this book that Thai introduced me to have had a profound
effect in how I now approach my business life.
But Thai was biggest into fractals and could see them everywhere. I
can't really do the explanation justice but a fractal is like a tree
to a branch (or maybe a parent to an offspring) where the subset is a
miniature replica of the whole, not identical but similar. Some
systems are fractal in nature where there is an interconnectedness and
property to them like the weather, financial markets, populations,
natural systems and even human relations whereby the system has a
propensity to be sensitive to the initial conditions and then become
unpredictable over time. And unlike a simple linear row of dominoes
where one precipitating event initiates a, more or less, equal event,
in a fractal system each event amplifies the condition with each
iteration to the point where the entire system becomes unstable and
unpredictable. This is also known as the "butterfly effect," whereby
a butterfly flapping its wings in India can give rise to a hurricane
in some remote area like Florida. Hence, the interconnectedness of
seemingly small random events.
My interactions with Thai centered on this intellectual side, but
here's the subtle transition to the more human side. The financial
meltdown of which he was forewarning actually happened. Thai also
later came to know that my company folded and I was out of work as a
result of these same forces. And then the conversations on this topic
which had been frequent pretty much ceased. Now the truth is I
wouldn't have minded had they continued. But Thai didn't know that.
I think his empathetic side took over and he figured, "Who wants to
hear I told you so?" so he just let it be unsaid.
(E-mail to Katherine from neighbor E.S.)
Friday, June 11, 2010
In Memoriam: Thai McGreivy
Dr. Thai McGreivy, a regular commenter on this blog, passed away on Sunday night after unexpectedly suffering a massive heart attack the previous Monday.
Thai made many friends here; though I didn't get to meet him face to face, I greatly appreciated and respected his insightful, passionate and often humorous remarks on the issues presented in Sudden Debt. He was my friend.
For me, his enduring legacy will always be fractals, a subject that I was only vaguely familiar with until Thai explained that our world's complex beauty can be best described through the simple elegance of fractal mathematics. He used a picture of the Mandelbrot set as his avatar to keep reminding us of the importance of fractals in everyday life. It wasn't long before I, too, started discovering fractals everywhere, from a bush on the side of the road where I went biking (a passion that we apparently both shared), to persistently similar fluctuations in financial markets. In fact, I was working on a piece called Fractal Finance when I was told of his untimely passing.
But I will always have a much more personal, emotional and lasting appreciation of Thai. You see, some weeks ago I presented fractals to Sofie, the love of my life. Sofie is, among other things, an extremely gifted and talented artist whose paintings are eerily evocative of fractal images. As soon as she saw the infinite sequence of images generated by the simple formula zn+1 = zn2 + c tears of joy came to her eyes. "I have always known of this deep within me" she said, "I am so happy to see it before my eyes. Thank you so much."
Thank you Thai. We shall always remember you.
An Image Generated From The Mandelbrot Set
(by Hellasious; Here is a link to the original
Thai made many friends here; though I didn't get to meet him face to face, I greatly appreciated and respected his insightful, passionate and often humorous remarks on the issues presented in Sudden Debt. He was my friend.
For me, his enduring legacy will always be fractals, a subject that I was only vaguely familiar with until Thai explained that our world's complex beauty can be best described through the simple elegance of fractal mathematics. He used a picture of the Mandelbrot set as his avatar to keep reminding us of the importance of fractals in everyday life. It wasn't long before I, too, started discovering fractals everywhere, from a bush on the side of the road where I went biking (a passion that we apparently both shared), to persistently similar fluctuations in financial markets. In fact, I was working on a piece called Fractal Finance when I was told of his untimely passing.
But I will always have a much more personal, emotional and lasting appreciation of Thai. You see, some weeks ago I presented fractals to Sofie, the love of my life. Sofie is, among other things, an extremely gifted and talented artist whose paintings are eerily evocative of fractal images. As soon as she saw the infinite sequence of images generated by the simple formula zn+1 = zn2 + c tears of joy came to her eyes. "I have always known of this deep within me" she said, "I am so happy to see it before my eyes. Thank you so much."
Thank you Thai. We shall always remember you.
An Image Generated From The Mandelbrot Set
(by Hellasious; Here is a link to the original
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